This is Schmoo.
He is unobtrusive.
Schmoo poses for posterity. See how feral and powerful he is?
Saying goodbye to a very old friend.
The first step was to use scissors to clip everything down so the clippers could manage. That's pain you see.
The sides come off first, to visit 2001 Schmoo with the huge goatee.
Schmoolywood Schmoo Schmoogan. He will tear you up.
Schmoo the Celt. He will eat you and your fucking family. He also has really pretty eyes which I never noticed before.
After the clipping, I had to opportunity to shave him. I've never actually shaved another person before, but it was kinda fun. I didn't cut him or anything either. And I got to pretty much give him a facial with the exfoliation and like 80 bajillion other products.
We used the other bathroom which had much worse lighting, and the images unfortunately reflect that.
Looking at a stranger.